weddingrisk

Because I found my wedding dress so quickly, I didn’t get to try on very many. Some might consider this a good thing, but I like party dresses and so, with the pressure completely off, KCB and I decided to visit one of our area’s most posh “bridal salons”. This is the place that sells dresses that cost as much as new cars and specializes in Vera Wang.

Here too, we were assigned a bridal consultant who gave us wine. They were “out of” champagne, which I find suspect, but perhaps they reserve their stock for people who are closer to buying than I told them I was. “I’m in the initial stage,” I said, “that’s why I’m here with a friend instead of my mother.” We were seated on a white kidney bean shaped settee and I was asked to detail my (wedding) taste while my bridal consultant took notes. “Slightly-rustic elegance” I kept saying, “Vintage inspired.”

We were led into our private fitting chamber, a medium sized room with tasteful lighting, white walls, white carpet, white furniture (this is how they seduce brides and their families, I suspect: isolate them, give them alcohol, put them in lush dresses). Here the bridal consultant puts the dresses on you, which I didn’t mind but did feel slightly infantilizing (though, honestly, there’s no possible way I could have gotten into some of them myself). The room was closed in with heavy white curtains, with white clothespins clipped along one edge. Their function soon became apparent as I was quite literally clipped into the first gown I tried on. It was an amusing juxtaposition, perfect from the front, paper doll + sewing project from the back.

I tried on many, many dresses and while it was great fun, I didn’t like any as much as the dress I found at the far more humble DB (see post regarding the virtues of functional fixedness). Dear readers, I will note that Vera Wang is no joke. Her dresses are exquisite and sumptuous. But to me, they felt and looked like costumes. I couldn’t imagine actually wearing one in my life. Maybe (er, definitely) for a picture or two, but not in any real context.

With this in mind, I give you my very favorite of all the dresses I tried. It’s Marie Antoinette as a sea creature meets art deco statue, and wearing it was magnificent. But only in the posh, white dressing room of a bridal boutique. Or for some kind of lunar red carpet. Not for my wedding, though. No way.

Clearly, that’s not me in the picture - they didn’t allow photography in the store.