Recently, my best friend got married. And while her ceremony was beautiful and the reception was fun and everything sailed smooth, and people smiled and made toasts etc. — behind the scenes everything was drama. A bridesmaid (the groom’s sister) was bounced from the wedding party for getting a gigantic phoenix tattoo, another bridesmaid was reprimanded for wearing her hair down, the remaining bridesmaids were forced to wear matching Juicy Couture sweat suits the morning of the wedding, and finally, the caterers were reamed for serving garlic mashed potatoes instead of twice baked potatoes.

I am so not that girl.

My wedding only needs a few things to be considered successful—the people I love in attendance, good music, and plenty of cocktails at the reception—everything else will work itself out. I don’t care if my bridesmaids want to march down the aisle covered in tattoos and wearing roller skates, I don’t care if my shoes come from Payless. I don’t want to wear, or own, or be given any item with the word “bride” bedazzled or Swarvoski crystaled on it. I won’t fight my best friend for a wedding venue (Bride Wars, anyone?). And no one is getting ready in color coordinated sweat suits.

Perhaps I am the anti-bride, bride?

But paradoxically, I love weddings. I am having so much fun planning mine I can’t stop (I have been engaged for two years). Mostly, I like all of the tiny details that make up a wedding—the scrawl of calligraphy across an envelope, the heft and promise of a wedding magazine, the satin ribbon wrapped around the stems of a bouquet. Weddings—yours, mine, ours– are about the little moments that add up to love, to hope, to something new—

Life isn’t perfect.  I don’t expect my wedding to be perfect either.