The Biggest Day

I was talking about bonbonniere with one of my bridesmaids the other day, and we realised something: between us we’ve been to nine weddings in the last two years, but we can’t remember a single party favor.

They’re usually non-descript sugared almonds, or chocolates wrapped in organza bags, or sometimes there’s nothing there at all. Whatever we’ve been served up in the past, we simply can’t remember them.

That was precisely the point my bridesmaid was making. No-one ever remembers the bonbonniere, so why bother doing it? She’s getting married a few months after me and she has 95 guests coming, so she figures, at around $3 per person, she can save $270 by skipping the favors.

But I don’t know if I can let it go quite so easily. I feel like we should provide goodies on the table for our guests – just something small that represents a thoughtful token of our appreciation for travelling to our wedding and celebrating with us!

Ideally, I want to give them something memorable – no non-descript sugared almonds for me! – and I want it to be something that they’ll actually use.

So far, I’ve come up with a few ideas: mini silver photo frames (which can also double as name cards); votive candles held in small glass holders; wine glasses inscribed with each person’s name; and playing cards wrapped in ribbon, so they can play cards if they get bored! Although, hopefully that won’t be an issue…

We have 120 people coming to our wedding, so I’m budgeting around $400 total for bonbonniere, or $3.30 per person. I’m open to suggestions and I’ve been known to get a little crafty – think painting, scrap-booking, sewing and bedazzling! – so if you have any brilliant ideas, please post them up here!

I’m definitely not the only bride to freak out about how quickly the cost of my wedding is escalating – but sometimes I worry that my big day can’t possibly live up to my expectations, when it’s costing us more than both of our cars are worth combined!

I’ve actually stopped talking to my fiancé about the money side of things; when I receive a quote from the hairdresser, for example, or hear from the venue about the cost of chair seat covers, I don’t discuss it with him. He’s a little more anxious than me, so it’s easier to avoid the ‘All of this money for just one day?!’ conversation – he just doesn’t understand that, yes, a wedding cake can cost $500, and yes, we absolutely have to have a wedding cake…

The good thing is, we’ve been planning our trip down the aisle for around 12 months, and having such a long lead-time means that I’ve had plenty of extra time to scout around for the best deals.

There are definitely certain areas you can cut costs, but because every bride is different, we each have various items on our ‘wants’ and ‘needs’ list.

For me, the car journey is not important – I don’t want to spend $1,000 on cars to get us to the ceremony, when my dad already has a nice black car, and he’d like to drive us. We’ve asked our neighbour to drive the bridesmaids in his white sedan – he’s super excited to be involved – and I’ve bought some thick white ribbon to dress up both cars. It’s going to save us a bunch on money, and I don’t feel like I’m compromising on anything!

My friend Natalia, on the other hand, is determined to travel to the church in style. She wants to be delivered to the ceremony in a cherry-red convertible, and she’s prepared to do whatever it takes to make that happen! She is actually going to pay her hairdresser to come to the wedding and touch up her hair before the ceremony, and again before the photos get taken…

So I guess it comes down to the individual bride. At the end of the day, the guests aren’t really going to remember the colour of the napkins, or whether the chairs were tied with satin ribbons, or what car you turned up in – but as brides, we’re going to remember each and every one of these details and decisions. So as long as we’re happy, that’s all that counts!